Thursday, March 15, 2012

Full disclosure…to tell the truth

I often think that the price of telling the truth doesn’t always equal the reward it should.

I believe that more people should make it a regular practice to be truthful. Don’t have plastic surgery and try to act like you woke up one morning looking 10 years younger or 50 pounds lighter. If you color your hair, own up to that, don’t try to fool others into believing you are naturally free from grey hair. Don’t lie about your age, the lie will catch up to you. Ok, so you can be vague. I’m in the 35 to 45 demographic. No one needs to know exactly where I fall on that timeline.

But what else should we be more truthful about?
I think I’m an honest person. I (to the best of my knowledge) do not outright lie. I may be vague from time to time or give a “political” answer to avoid the cold hard details of the truth. For the most part I am honest.

But how far should we take the truth?
I so often want to explain myself or my ideas to the extent that it sometimes gets me into a bigger hole. This past Christmas, I sent a card to my former sister-in-law’s house addressed to the children. I purely wanted her kids to get mail at their house and know I was thinking of them while they are dealing with a new family dynamic. My sister-in-law and I were never close or friendly with each other and we usually saw each other just once a year. I know she was not sitting around waiting for mail from me. It’s been at least 6 years since she made a trip out to visit our family. I know she will not miss seeing me in the future. I did not send the card as a dig to her but she hit the roof and publicly went after her ex-husband and started screaming about “family” and then called my house and tore my head off.

I know she is in a place right now where she is looking for things to turn into an issue. However, I want so badly to rebut with an explanation of my intentions. I’m still fighting that urge but I do know that it will only bring more hardship to my brother-in-law. I also know that no matter how hard one may try to present their perspective on a situation it isn’t always seen the same way from where the other person sits.

What about when a friend does something hurtful, seemingly unbeknownst to them, do you speak up about your feelings? If you are really irritated by something, is it worth creating the proverbial mountain out of the molehill just to get it off your chest. You know, they ask “How are you?” and you say “Fine”. While it eats you up inside.

Do you ALWAYS tell the truth?
When do you… or should I ask HOW do you know WHEN to draw the line and just say nothing? I want to be honest and put my cards on the table with the idea that it will improve relations but all too often it does the opposite.

What do you think???


Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

I think honesty is always the best policy, and lying never is. However, sometimes it's easier to bite your tongue and say nothing rather than let things blow up. When it comes to emotions and feelings, people are very often irrational.

Intense Guy said...

I think your approach is about the best one can do. Stay honest or don't say much of anything -

I don't know how / why anyone would go "through the roof" over some mail - and Christmas cards at that (unless they were really religous and they Jewish or Atheist...or something) A lot of folks really need to learn to "go with the flow" huh?

Alexis AKA MOM said...

Oh Goodness I don't know why ppl get so wrapped up in themselves instead of thinking of the kids! Sorry she did that!

I think Honesty is the best, I talk with the boys a lot about that also. I have learned the hard way what happens when things go unspoken and then it turns into a huge ball that then the truth comes out of a situation that may have been avoided if in the beginning the unspoken feelings were said.