Friday, February 4, 2011

To Tell the Truth???

Do you tell the truth? I’ve read a few blogs that boast about how they are “keeping it real”. (Scoff). How real can it be when you are saying what you want people to know about you and taking the pictures and then editing them to suit you. We all do it. Who wants to show themselves in a bad light? Literally and metaphorically. (Why do you think my house is full of dimmer switches? Everyone looks good in low lighting).

There was a snippet on the news last week about how people are becoming depressed from reading their friends face book page. The theory is that you read a one or two sentence fragment from someone’s day. What you then do is interpret that as the other person’s reality. They post about making plans to go out for dinner or they post a picture from vacation and you suddenly feel inferior or that you have less or that your life is not as much fun as theirs is. Is that really a truthful representation of that person’s life? It’s one sentence from the day or the week. They have hand picked what they feel like sharing. Is it a clear “truthful” image?

What about face to face? Do you tell people you know when they have a bad haircut or when that style needs to go? It’s outdated. No one liked that style on Kate Gosselin and it’s time they tried something new. Or do you end up sounding like their mother? You know how a Mom will give you that backhanded compliment. “Honey you look nice, when are you getting your hair cut?” Which is where I get my theory on why so many people can’t take a compliment. You know, you say something nice and the other person doesn’t believe you. They think you are saying it just to be nice or make them feel good. They think you’re not being honest.

Do you speak up and let friends/family know when they are out of line? What if they are loosing perspective on the big picture? How long do you “ride the storm” before you put the cards on the table? Are we not raised to tell the truth? Isn’t there a certain price to pay for being honest? They say the truth hurts but who gets hurt? What are you willing to risk to be honest? Is the truth worth it? What if they are only hurting themselves? What if they are hurting you? Can you really get someone to understand you or your point of view?

What if you hold it in? Does that work? Who benefits from saying nothing?

Are you honest with yourself? I think there can be a fine line between one’s own reality and their denial. I’ve watched people blame others for problems in their own relationship. I’m sure you know someone who has said they are “fine” or “dealing with things”. They say they are just having fun, because on some level they know they are not being very smart. We have all been there where you loose sight of what is right or wrong because you think you are getting what you want. Are you happy in the end or did you just learn a hard lesson? Was it worth it?

Do you tell the truth? Always?


Intense Guy said...

This is a heavy bit... And I think you have something there - I used to check the "e-mail follow-up comments" box to see what other's said on the blogs I read - and had to stop doing that as it was, well, depressing and somewhat irritating too, when someone's comment showed that they didn't read the post (or read it very closely).

I know I stop posting entries when I feel "less than good" in order to avoid being a "debbie downer" - we all have pains and issues... and I just don't share (all) of them. If this is dishonest - well, sometimes you can't win. :)

I think Facebook (and worse still, twitter) are badly named being called social media... they almost seem anti-social to me.

A post like this one - heavy on the content - focused on communicating - actually "says something" and is refreshingly honest (or perhaps "open" is a better word for what I mean).

So how do you balance - being "open" and "honest" with not wanting to sound "gloomy" and be a downer?

Should you share that ... communication more privately, say in an e-mail?

In any event - I'm glad to see you are posting - and being a little bit pensive (from time to time) isn't neccessarily a bad thing.


Alexis AKA MOM said...

Oh girl I hear you I know most of us keep it "real" but yes there is things we do we don't dare put out there. Or only in rare moments do we bring the down factor on here.

You know I sadly don't pay much attention to ppl and their status updates. I can see how that can really bring someone down. My own life and all the happenings that I can bring myself down :)

Heather said...

You have to join us the next time we do The Truth Project. Truth is not in people, their actions or thoughts. Truth is not a product of this world and is not a product of man. Truth is only in us through Christ - because of Christ - who is our only way to God. Deep I know - but, ahem, true. ;-)